He's got some
capital rum up from Kingston. We'll fish all day, and have a spree
at night.'
"'It's not to fish I'm going,' says he.
"'To shoot, then? I've bought Rockwood's new rifle.'
"'It's neither to fish nor to shoot, Ned: it's a new game I'm going
to try; so come along.'
"Well, to the - - lake we went. The day was very hot, and our path
lay through the woods, and over those scorching plains, for eight
long miles. I thought I should have dropped by the way; but during
our long walk my companion never opened his lips. He strode on
before me, at a half-run, never once turning his head.
"'The man must be the devil!' says I, 'and accustomed to a warmer
place, or he must feel this. Hollo, Brian! Stop there! Do you mean
to kill me?'
"'Take it easy,' says he; 'you'll see another day arter this - I've
business on hand, and cannot wait.'
"Well, on we went, at the same awful rate, and it was mid-day when
we got to the little tavern on the lake shore, kept by one F - -, who
had a boat for the convenience of strangers who came to visit the
place. Here we got our dinner, and a glass of rum to wash it down.
But Brian was moody, and to all my jokes he only returned a sort of
grunt; and while I was talking with F - -, he steps out, and a few
minutes arter we saw him crossing the lake in the old canoe.
"'What's the matter with Brian?' says F - -; 'all does not seem right
with him, Ned. You had better take the boat, and look arter him.'
"'Pooh!' says I; 'he's often so, and grows so glum nowadays that I
will cut his acquaintance altogether if he does not improve.'
"'He drinks awful hard,' says F - -; 'may be he's got a fit of the
delirium-tremulous. There is no telling what he may be up to at this
minute.'
"My mind misgave me, too, so I e'en takes the oars, and pushes out,
right upon Brian's track; and, by the Lord Harry! if I did not find
him, upon my landing on the opposite shore, lying wallowing in his
blood with his throat cut. 'Is that you, Brian?' says I, giving him
a kick with my foot, to see if he was alive or dead. 'What on earth
tempted you to play me and F - - such a dirty, mean trick, as to go
and stick yourself like a pig, bringing such a discredit upon the
house? - and you so far from home and those who should nurse you?'
"I was so mad with him, that (saving your presence, ma'am) I swore
awfully, and called him names that would be ondacent to repeat here;
but he only answered with groans and a horrid gurgling in his
throat. 'It's a choking you are,' said I, 'but you shan't have your
own way, and die so easily, either, if I can punish you by keeping
you alive.' So I just turned him upon his stomach, with his head
down the steep bank; but he still kept choking and growing black in
the face."
Layton then detailed some particulars of his surgical practice which
it is not necessary to repeat. He continued -
"I bound up his throat with my handkerchief, and took him neck and
heels, and threw him into the bottom of the boat. Presently he came
to himself a little, and sat up in the boat; and - would you believe
it? - made several attempts to throw himself in the water. 'This will
not do,' says I; 'you've done mischief enough already by cutting
your weasand! If you dare to try that again, I will kill you with
the oar.' I held it up to threaten him; he was scared, and lay down
as quiet as a lamb. I put my foot upon his breast. 'Lie still, now!
or you'll catch it.' He looked piteously at me; he could not speak,
but his eyes seemed to say, 'Have pity upon me, Ned; don't kill me.'
"Yes, ma'am; this man, who had just cut his throat, and twice arter
that tried to drown himself, was afraid that I should knock him on
the head and kill him. Ha! ha! I shall never forget the work that
F - - and I had with him arter I got him up to the house.
"The doctor came, and sewed up his throat; and his wife - poor
crittur! - came to nurse him. Bad as he was, she was mortal fond of
him! He lay there, sick and unable to leave his bed, for three
months, and did nothing but pray to God to forgive him, for he
thought the devil would surely have him for cutting his own throat;
and when he got about again, which is now twelve years ago, he left
off drinking entirely, and wanders about the woods with his dogs,
hunting. He seldom speaks to any one, and his wife's brother carries
on the farm for the family. He is so shy of strangers that 'tis a
wonder he came in here. The old wives are afraid of him; but you
need not heed him - his troubles are to himself, he harms no one."
Layton departed, and left me brooding over the sad tale which he had
told in such an absurd and jesting manner. It was evident from the
account he had given of Brian's attempt at suicide, that the hapless
hunter was not wholly answerable for his conduct - that he was a
harmless maniac.
