"Any case of sickness or death on board?"
"All sound as crickets."
"Any births?" lisped the little Frenchman.
The captain screwed up his mouth, and after a moment's reflection
he replied, "Births? Why, yes; now I think on't, gentlemen, we had
one female on board, who produced three at a birth."
"That's uncommon," said the Scotch doctor, with an air of lively
curiosity. "Are the children alive and well? I should like much to
see them." He started up, and knocked his head - for he was very
tall - against the ceiling. "Confound your low cribs! I have nearly
dashed out my brains."
"A hard task, that," looked the captain to me. He did not speak,
but I knew by his sarcastic grin what was uppermost in his
thoughts. "The young ones all males - fine thriving fellows. Step
upon deck, Sam Frazer," turning to his steward; "bring them down
for doctors to see." Sam vanished, with a knowing wink to his
superior, and quickly returned, bearing in his arms three fat,
chuckle-headed bull-terriers, the sagacious mother following
close at his heels, and looked ready to give and take offence on
the slightest provocation.
"Here, gentlemen, are the babies," said Frazer, depositing his
burden on the floor. "They do credit to the nursing of the brindled
slut."
The old tar laughed, chuckled, and rubbed his hands in an ecstacy
of delight at the indignation and disappointment visible in the
countenance of the Scotch Esculapius, who, angry as he was, wisely
held his tongue. Not so the Frenchman; his rage scarcely knew
bounds - he danced in a state of most ludicrous excitement, he
shook his fist at our rough captain, and screamed at the top of his
voice -
"Sacre, you bete! You tink us dog, ven you try to pass your puppies
on us for babies?"
"Hout, man, don't be angry," said the Scotchman, stifling a laugh;
"you see 'tis only a joke!"
"Joke! me no understand such joke. Bete!" returned the angry
Frenchman, bestowing a savage kick on one of the unoffending pups
which was frisking about his feet. The pup yelped; the slut barked
and leaped furiously at the offender, and was only kept from biting
him by Sam, who could scarcely hold her back for laughing; the
captain was uproarious; the offended Frenchman alone maintained
a severe and dignified aspect. The dogs were at length dismissed,
and peace restored.
After some further questioning from the officials, a Bible was
required for the captain to take an oath. Mine was mislaid, and
there was none at hand.
"Confound it!" muttered the old sailor, tossing over the papers
in his desk; "that scoundrel, Sam, always stows my traps out of
the way." Then taking up from the table a book which I had been
reading, which happened to be Voltaire's History of Charles XII.,
he presented it, with as grave an air as he could assume, to the
Frenchman.
