The duty is ad valorem upon all
articles, and an ignorant Turk is the valuer. This man does not know the
difference between a bootjack and a lemon-squeezer: only the other day
he valued wire dish-covers as `articles of head-dress,' (probably he had
seen wire fencing-masks). If he is perplexed, he is obliged to refer the
questionable article to the Chief Office,--this is two hundred yards
from the landing place:--thus he passes half the day in running
backwards and forwards with trifles of contested value to his superior,
while crowds are kept waiting, and the store is piled with goods most
urgently required." . . .
I immediately went to see this eccentric representative of Anglo-Turkish
political-and-mercantile-combination, and found very little
exaggeration in the description, except that the distance was 187 paces
instead of 200 which he had to perform, whenever the character of the
article was beyond the sphere of his experience. As this happened about
every quarter of an hour, he could not complain of a sedentary
employment. A few days after this, migratory birds arrived in Cyprus
upon the inhospitable shore opposite the Custom House in the shape of
two Liberal M.P's. from England,--who visited the island specially to
form an honest opinion free from all political bias. Whether these
gentlemen were undervalued by the eccentric official to whom I have
alluded, or whether he suspected Liberals as opponents to be regarded
and treated as spies, we never could determine; but utterly disregarding
their innocent exterior, he subjected them to the extreme torture of the
Custom House, and dived and plunged into the very bowels and bottoms of
their numerous small packages, rumpling clean linen, and producing a
toilettic chaos. To the honour of these members of the Opposition they
never brought the question before the House upon their return to
England, neither did they make it the foundation of an attack upon the
Government.
An excess of zeal is not uncommon among ignorant officials newly raised
to a position of authority: thus Larnaca was outdone by the Custom House
representative at Limasol in vigilance and strict attention to the
administrative tortures of his office. I have heard of cases of crockery
being unpacked upon the beach and spread out to be counted and valued
upon the loose stones of shingle!
The unfortunate European traders of Larnaca were shortly relieved of
their Custom House troubles by the total absence of imports. The native
Cypriote does not purchase at European shops; his wants are few; the
smallest piece of soap will last an indefinite period; he is frugal to
an extreme degree; and if he has desires, he curbs such temptations and
hoards his coin. Thus, as the natives did not purchase, and all
Europeans were sellers without buyers, there was no alternative but to
shut the shutters. This was a species of commercial suicide which made
Larnaca a place of departed spirits; in which unhappy state it remains
to the present hour. Even the club was closed.
CHAPTER II.
THE GIPSY-VANS ENCOUNTER DIFFICULTIES.
My gipsy-van was not of doubtful character. I had purchased it direct
from the gipsies in England, and it had been specially arranged for the
Cyprus journey by Messrs. Glover Bros. of Dean Street, Soho, London. It
had been painted and varnished with many coats both inside and out, and
nobody, unless an experienced gipsy, would have known that it was not
newly born from the maker's yard. Originally it had been constructed for
shafts, as one horse was considered sufficient upon the roads of
England, but when it arrived in Cyprus it appeared to have grown during
the voyage about two sizes larger than when it was last seen. As the
small animals of Larnaca passed by, where my lovely van blocked up the
entire street, and forced the little creatures upon the footpath, they
looked in comparison as though they had just been disembarked upon Mount
Ararat from the original Noah's ark, represented by the gipsy-van! The
Cypriotes are polite, therefore I heard no rude remarks. The Cypriote
boys are like all other boys, therefore they climbed to the top of the
van, and endeavoured by escalade to enter the windows. On one occasion I
captured HALF A BOY (the posterior half) who was hanging with legs
dangling out of the window, his "forlorn-hope" or advance half vainly
endeavouring to obtain a resting-place upon vacuity within (as the fall
slab-table was down). I had no stick; but the toes of his boots had
imprinted first impressions upon the faultless varnish. What became of
that young Cypriote was never known.
Even in Cyprus there are municipal laws, and now that the English are
there they are enforced; therefore my huge van could not remain like a
wad in a gun-barrel, and entirely block the street. A London policeman
would have desired it to "move on" but--this was the real grievance
that I had against Larnaca--the van COULD NOT "MOVE ON," owing to its
extreme height, which interfered with the wooden water-spouts from the
low roofs of the flat-topped houses. This was a case of "real distress."
My van represented civilisation: the water-spouts represented barbarism.
If a London omnibus crowded with outside passengers had attempted to
drive through Larnaca, both driver and passengers would have been swept
into I have not the slightest notion where; and my van was two feet
higher than an omnibus!
I determined that I would avoid all inferior thoroughfares, and that the
van should pass down Wolseley Street, drawn by a number of men who would
be superior in intelligence to the Cypriote mules and be careful in
turning the corners.
I did not see the start, as a person with an "excess of zeal" had
started it with a crowd of madmen without orders, and I was only a late
spectator some hours after its arrival opposite Craddock's Hotel.
