But I Was Too Exhausted To Eat Meat, So I
Supped Up My Broth And Then Began Diapephradizing On My Fingers To
Show The Great Innkeeper What I Wanted.
I first pulled up the macaroni out of the dish, and said, _Fromagio,
Pommodoro,_ by which I meant cheese - tomato.
He then said he knew what
I meant, and brought me that spaghetti so treated, which is a dish for
a king, a cosmopolitan traitor, an oppressor of the poor, a usurer, or
any other rich man, but there is no spaghetti in the place to which
such men go, whereas these peasants will continue to enjoy it in
heaven.
I then pulled out my bottle of wine, drank what was left out of the
neck (by way of sign), and putting it down said, _'Tale, tantum, vino
rosso.'_ My guide also said many things which probably meant that I
was a rich man, who threw his money about by the sixpence. So the
innkeeper went through a door and brought back a bottle all corked and
sealed, and said on his fingers, and with his mouth and eyes, 'THIS
KIND OF WINE IS SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL.'
Only in the foolish cities do men think it a fine thing to appear
careless of money. So I, very narrowly watching him out of half-closed
eyes, held up my five fingers interrogatively, and said,
_'Cinquante?'_ meaning 'Dare you ask fivepence?'
At which he and all the peasants around, even including my guide,
laughed aloud as at an excellent joke, and said, _'Cinquante, Ho!
ho!'_ and dug each other in the ribs. But the innkeeper of Tizzano Val
Parmense said in Italian a number of things which meant that I could
but be joking, and added (in passing) that a lira made it a kind of
gift to me. A lira was, as it were, but a token to prove that it had
changed hands: a registration fee: a matter of record; at a lira it
was pure charity. Then I said, _'Soixante Dix?'_ which meant nothing
to him, so I held up seven fingers; he waved his hand about genially,
and said that as I was evidently a good fellow, a traveller, and as
anyhow he was practically giving me the wine, he would make it
ninepence; it was hardly worth his while to stretch out his hand for
so little money. So then I pulled out 80 c. in coppers, and said,
_'Tutto',_ which means 'all'. Then he put the bottle before me, took
the money, and an immense clamour rose from all those who had been
watching the scene, and they applauded it as a ratified bargain. And
this is the way in which bargains were struck of old time in these
hills when your fathers and mine lived and shivered in a cave, hunted
wolves, and bargained with clubs only.
So this being settled, and I eager for the wine, wished it to be
opened, especially to stand drink to my guide.
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