On A Certain Night I Had Retired To Rest Rather More Early Than
Usual, Being Slightly Indisposed.
I soon fell asleep, and had
continued so for some hours, when I was suddenly aroused by the
opening of the door of the small apartment in which I lay.
I
started up, and beheld Maria Diaz, with a lamp in her hand, enter
the room. I observed that her features, which were in general
peculiarly calm and placid, wore a somewhat startled expression.
"What is the hour, and what brings you here?" I demanded.
"Senor," said she, closing the door, and coming up to the bedside.
"It is close upon midnight; but a messenger belonging to the police
has just entered the house and demanded to see you. I told him
that it was impossible, for that your worship was in bed.
Whereupon he sneezed in my face, and said that he would see you if
you were in your coffin. He has all the look of a goblin, and has
thrown me into a tremor. I am far from being a timid person, as
you are aware, Don Jorge; but I confess that I never cast my eyes
on these wretches of the police, but my heart dies away within me!
I know them but too well, and what they are capable of."
"Pooh," said I, "be under no apprehension, let him come in, I fear
him not, whether he be alguazil or hobgoblin. Stand, however, at
the doorway, that you may be a witness of what takes place, as it
is more than probable that he comes at this unreasonable hour to
create a disturbance, that he may have an opportunity of making an
unfavourable report to his principals, like the fellow on the
former occasion."
The hostess left the apartment, and I heard her say a word or two
to some one in the passage, whereupon there was a loud sneeze, and
in a moment after a singular figure appeared at the doorway. It
was that of a very old man, with long white hair, which escaped
from beneath the eaves of an exceedingly high-peaked hat. He
stooped considerably, and moved along with a shambling gait. I
could not see much of his face, which, as the landlady stood behind
him with the lamp, was consequently in deep shadow. I could
observe, however, that his eyes sparkled like those of a ferret.
He advanced to the foot of the bed, in which I was still lying,
wondering what this strange visit could mean; and there he stood
gazing at me for a minute, at least, without uttering a syllable.
Suddenly, however, he protruded a spare skinny hand from the cloak
in which it had hitherto been enveloped, and pointed with a short
staff, tipped with metal, in the direction of my face, as it he
were commencing an exorcism. He appeared to be about to speak, but
his words, if he intended any, were stifled in their birth by a
sudden sternutation which escaped him, and which was so violent
that the hostess started back, exclaiming, "Ave Maria purissima!"
and nearly dropped the lamp in her alarm.
"My good person," said I, "what do you mean by this foolish
hobgoblinry? If you have anything to communicate do so at once,
and go about your business. I am unwell, and you are depriving me
of my repose."
"By the virtue of this staff," said the old man, "and the authority
which it gives me to do and say that which is convenient, I do
command, order, and summon you to appear to-morrow, at the eleventh
hour at the office of my lord the corregidor of this village of
Madrid, in order that, standing before him humbly, and with
befitting reverence, you may listen to whatever he may have to say,
or if necessary, may yield yourself up to receive the castigation
of any crimes which you may have committed, whether trivial or
enormous. Tenez, compere," he added, in most villainous French,
"voila mon affaire; voila ce que je viens vous dire."
Thereupon he glared at me for a moment, nodded his head twice, and
replacing his staff beneath is cloak, shambled out of the room, and
with a valedictory sneeze in the passage left the house.
Precisely at eleven on the following day, I attended at the office
of the corregidor. He was not the individual whose anger I had
incurred on a former occasion, and who had thought proper to
imprison me, but another person, I believe a Catalan, whose name I
have also forgotten. Indeed, these civil employments were at this
period given to-day and taken away to-morrow, so that the person
who held one of them for a month might consider himself a
functionary of long standing. I was not kept waiting a moment, but
as soon as I had announced myself, was forthwith ushered into the
presence of the corregidor, a good-looking, portly, and well-
dressed personage, seemingly about fifty. He was writing at a desk
when I entered, but almost immediately arose and came towards me.
He looked me full in the face, and I, nothing abashed, kept my eyes
fixed upon his. He had, perhaps, expected a less independent
bearing, and that I should have quaked and crouched before him; but
now, conceiving himself bearded in his own den, his old Spanish
leaven was forthwith stirred up. He plucked his whiskers fiercely.
"Escuchad," said he, casting upon me a ferocious glance, "I wish to
ask you a question."
"Before I answer any question of your excellency," said I, "I shall
take the liberty of putting one myself. What law or reason is
there that I, a peaceable individual and a foreigner, should have
my rest disturbed by duendes and hobgoblins sent at midnight to
summon me to appear at public offices like a criminal?"
"You do not speak the truth," shouted the corregidor; "the person
sent to summon you was neither duende nor hobgoblin, but one of the
most ancient and respectable officers of this casa, and so far from
being dispatched at midnight, it wanted twenty-five minutes to that
hour by my own watch when he left this office, and as your lodging
is not distant, he must have arrived there at least ten minutes
before midnight, so that you are by no means accurate, and are
found wanting in regard to truth."
"A distinction without a difference," I replied.
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