What Are The Points Of My Religion Which Do Not Meet
Your Approbation?
You are of course well acquainted with all our
dogmas and ceremonies." "We know nothing about your religion,
Signior
Donatio, save that it is a very absurd one, and therefore
it is incumbent upon you, as an unprejudiced and well-informed man,
to renounce it." "But, gentlemen, if you know nothing of my
religion, why call it absurd? Surely it is not the part of
unprejudiced people to disparage that of which they are ignorant."
"But, Signior Donatio, it is not the Catholic Apostolic Roman
religion, is it?" "It may be, gentlemen, for what you appear to
know of it; for your information, however, I will tell you that it
is not; it is the Greek Apostolic religion. I do not call it
catholic, for it is absurd to call that catholic which is not
universally acknowledged." "But, Signior Donatio, does not the
matter speak for itself? What can a set of ignorant Greek
barbarians know about religion? If they set aside the authority of
Rome, whence should they derive any rational ideas of religion?
whence should they get the gospel?" "The Gospel, gentlemen? Allow
me to show you a book, here it is, what is your opinion of it?"
"Signior Donatio, what does this mean? What characters of the
devil are these, are they Moorish? Who is able to understand
them?" "I suppose your worships, being Roman priests, know
something of Latin; if you inspect the title-page to the bottom,
you will find, in the language of your own church, the Gospel of
our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,' in the original Greek, of which
your vulgate is merely a translation, and not a very correct one.
With respect to the barbarism of Greece, it appears that you are
not aware that Athens was a city, and a famed one, centuries before
the first mud cabin of Rome was thatched, and the Gypsy vagabonds
who first peopled it, had escaped from the hands of justice."
"Signior Donatio, you are an ignorant heretic, and insolent withal,
WHAT NONSENSE IS THIS! . . . ." But I will not weary your ears,
Kyrie, with all the absurdities which the poor Latin Papas poured
into mine; the burden of their song being invariably, WHAT NONSENSE
IS THIS! which was certainly applicable enough to what they
themselves were saying. Seeing, however, that I was more than
their match in religious controversy, they fell foul of my country.
"Spain is a better country than Greece," said one. "You never
tasted bread before you came to Spain," cried another. "And little
enough since," thought I. "You never before saw such a city as
Seville," said the third. But then ensued the best part of the
comedy: my visitors chanced to be natives of three different
places; one was of Seville, another of Utrera, and the third of
Miguel Turra, a miserable village in La Mancha. At the mention of
Seville, the other two instantly began to sing the praises of their
respective places of birth; this brought on comparisons, and a
violent dispute was the consequence. Much abuse passed between
them, whilst I stood by, shrugged my shoulders, and said tipotas.
{21} At last, as they were leaving the house, I said, "Who would
have thought, gentlemen, that the polemics of the Greek and Latin
churches were so closely connected with the comparative merits of
Seville, Utrera, and Miguel Turra?"
Myself. - Is the spirit of proselytism very prevalent here? Of what
description of people do their converts generally consist?
Dionysius. - I will tell you, Kyrie: the generality of their
converts consist of German or English Protestant adventurers, who
come here to settle, and in course of time take to themselves wives
from among the Spanish, prior to which it is necessary to become
members of the Latin church. A few are vagabond Jews, from
Gibraltar or Tangier, who have fled for their crimes into Spain,
and who renounce their faith to escape from starvation. These
gentry, however, it is necessary to pay, on which account the
priests procure for them padrinos or godfathers; these generally
consist of rich devotees over whom the priests have influence, and
who esteem it a glory and a meritorious act to assist in bringing
back lost souls to the church. The neophyte allows himself to be
convinced on the promise of a peseta a day, which is generally paid
by the godfathers for the first year, but seldom for a longer
period. About forty years ago, however, they made a somewhat
notable convert. A civil war arose in Morocco, caused by the
separate pretensions of two brothers to the throne. One of these
being worsted, fled over to Spain, imploring the protection of
Charles the Fourth. He soon became an object of particular
attention to the priests, who were not slow in converting him, and
induced Charles to settle upon him a pension of a dollar per day.
He died some few years since in Seville, a despised vagabond. He
left behind him a son, who is at present a notary, and outwardly
very devout, but a greater hypocrite and picaroon does not exist.
I would you could see his face, Kyrie, it is that of Judas
Iscariot. I think you would say so, for you are a physiognomist.
He lives next door to me, and notwithstanding his pretensions to
religion, is permitted to remain in a state of great poverty.
And now nothing farther for the present about Dionysius.
About the middle of July our work was concluded at Seville, and for
the very efficient reason, that I had no more Testaments to sell;
somewhat more than two hundred having been circulated since my
arrival.
About ten days before the time of which I am speaking, I was
visited by various alguazils, accompanied by a kind of headborough,
who made a small seizure of Testaments and Gypsy Gospels, which
happened to be lying about. This visit was far from being
disagreeable to me, as I considered it to be a very satisfactory
proof of the effect of our exertions in Seville.
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