He Is Always There;
There Is No Record Of His Having Disappointed An Audience.
So,
on the date named, rain or shine, he is hanged very thoroughly;
but after the hanging is over they write songs and books about him
and revere his memory forevermore.
Our guide was pleased to introduce us to the late Mr. Charles
Pease, as done in paraffin, with creped hair and bright, shiny
glass eyes. Mr. Pease was undoubtedly England's most fashionable
murderer of the past century and his name is imperishably enshrined
in the British affections. The guide spoke of his life and works
with deep and sincere feeling. He also appeared to derive unfeigned
pleasure from describing the accomplishments of another murderer,
only slightly less famous than the late Mr. Pease. It seemed that
this murderer, after slaying his victim, set to dismembering the
body and boiling it. They boil nearly everything in England. But
the police broke in on him and interrupted the job.
Our attention was directed to a large chart showing the form of
the victim, the boiled portions being outlined in red and the
unboiled portions in black. Considered as a murderer solely this
particular murderer may have been deserving of his fame; but when
it came to boiling, that was another matter. He showed poor
judgment there. It all goes to show that a man should stick to
his own trade and not try to follow two or more widely dissimilar
callings at the same time. Sooner or later he is bound to slip up.
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