"Waiter! Fetch A Bible!" Called Out Mr. Clerk, And A Great Family
Bible Was Immediately Brought In, And Opened On The Table Among All
The Beer Jugs.
Mr. Clerk turned over a few leaves, and in the book of Judges, 9th
chapter, verse xiii, he read, "Should I leave my wine, which
cheereth God and man?"
Mr. Maud and Mr. Caern, who had before been most violent, now sat as
if struck dumb. A silence of some minutes prevailed, when all at
once, the spirit of revelation seemed to come on me, and I said,
"Why, gentlemen, you must be sensible that it is but an allegorical
expression;" and I added, "how often in the Bible are kings called
gods!"
"Why, yes, to be sure," said Mr. Maud and Mr. Caern, "it is an
allegorical expression; nothing can be more clear; it is a metaphor,
and therefore it is absurd to understand it in a literal sense."
And now they, in their turn, triumphed over poor Clerk, and drank
large draughts to my health in strong ale; which, as my company
seemed to like so much, I was sorry I could not like. It either
intoxicated or stupefied me; and I do think it overpowers one much
sooner than so much wine would. The conversation now turned on many
other different subjects. At last, when morning drew near, Mr. Maud
suddenly exclaimed, "D-n me, I must read prayers this morning at
All-Souls!" D-n me is an abbreviation of G-d d-n me; which, in
England, does not seem to mean more mischief or harm than any of our
or their common expletives in conversation, such as O gemini! or,
The deuce take me!
Before Mr. Maud went away, he invited me to go and see him in the
morning, and very politely offered himself to show me the
curiosities of Oxford. The rest of the company now also dispersed;
and as I had once (though in so singular a manner) been introduced
into so reputable a society, the people of the house made no
difficulty of giving me lodging, but with great civility showed me a
very decent bed-chamber.
I am almost ashamed to own, that next morning, when I awoke, I had
got so dreadful a headache, from the copious and numerous toasts of
my jolly and reverend friends, that I could not possibly get up;
still less could I wait on Mr. Maud at his college.
The inn where I was goes by the name of the Mitre. Compared to
Windsor, I here found prince-like attendance. Being, perhaps, a
little elevated the preceding evening, I had in the gaiety, or
perhaps in the vanity of my heart, told the waiter, that he must not
think, because I came on foot, that therefore I should give him less
than others gave. I assured him of the contrary. It was probably
not a little owing to this assurance that I had so much attention
shown to me.
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