A Sentimental Journey Through France And Italy By Laurence Sterne

































































































 -   - Every third man
a pigmy! - some by rickety heads and hump backs; - others by bandy
legs; - a third set arrested - Page 36
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- Every Third Man A Pigmy!

- Some by rickety heads and hump backs; - others by bandy legs; - a third set arrested by the hand of

Nature in the sixth and seventh years of their growth; - a fourth, in their perfect and natural state like dwarf apple trees; from the first rudiments and stamina of their existence, never meant to grow higher.

A Medical Traveller might say, 'tis owing to undue bandages; - a Splenetic one, to want of air; - and an Inquisitive Traveller, to fortify the system, may measure the height of their houses, - the narrowness of their streets, and in how few feet square in the sixth and seventh stories such numbers of the bourgeoisie eat and sleep together; but I remember Mr. Shandy the elder, who accounted for nothing like any body else, in speaking one evening of these matters, averred that children, like other animals, might be increased almost to any size, provided they came right into the world; but the misery was, the citizens of were Paris so coop'd up, that they had not actually room enough to get them. - I do not call it getting anything, said he; - 'tis getting nothing. - Nay, continued he, rising in his argument, 'tis getting worse than nothing, when all you have got after twenty or five and twenty years of the tenderest care and most nutritious aliment bestowed upon it, shall not at last be as high as my leg. Now, Mr. Shandy being very short, there could be nothing more said of it.

As this is not a work of reasoning, I leave the solution as I found it, and content myself with the truth only of the remark, which is verified in every lane and by-lane of Paris. I was walking down that which leads from the Carousal to the Palais Royal, and observing a little boy in some distress at the side of the gutter which ran down the middle of it, I took hold of his hand and help'd him over. Upon turning up his face to look at him after, I perceived he was about forty. - Never mind, said I, some good body will do as much for me when I am ninety.

I feel some little principles within me which incline me to be merciful towards this poor blighted part of my species, who have neither size nor strength to get on in the world. - I cannot bear to see one of them trod upon; and had scarce got seated beside my old French officer, ere the disgust was exercised, by seeing the very thing happen under the box we sat in.

At the end of the orchestra, and betwixt that and the first side box, there is a small esplanade left, where, when the house is full, numbers of all ranks take sanctuary. Though you stand, as in the parterre, you pay the same price as in the orchestra. A poor defenceless being of this order had got thrust somehow or other into this luckless place; - the night was hot, and he was surrounded by beings two feet and a half higher than himself.

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