I forthwith began to model a different conversation for the lady,
thinking from the spirit as well as moral
Of this, that I had been
mistaken in her character; but upon turning her face towards me,
the spirit which had animated the reply was fled, - the muscles
relaxed, and I beheld the same unprotected look of distress which
first won me to her interest: - melancholy! to see such
sprightliness the prey of sorrow, - I pitied her from my soul; and
though it may seem ridiculous enough to a torpid heart, - I could
have taken her into my arms, and cherished her, though it was in
the open street, without brushing.
The pulsations of the arteries along my fingers pressing across
hers, told her what was passing within me: she looked down - a
silence of some moments followed.
I fear in this interval, I must have made some slight efforts
towards a closer compression of her hand, from a subtle sensation I
felt in the palm of my own, - not as if she was going to withdraw
hers - but as if she thought about it; - and I had infallibly lost it
a second time, had not instinct more than reason directed me to the
last resource in these dangers, - to hold it loosely, and in a
manner as if I was every moment going to release it, of myself; so
she let it continue, till Monsieur Dessein returned with the key;
and in the mean time I set myself to consider how I should undo the
ill impressions which the poor monk's story, in case he had told it
her, must have planted in her breast against me.
THE SNUFF BOX. CALAIS.
The good old monk was within six paces of us, as the idea of him
crossed my mind; and was advancing towards us a little out of the
line, as if uncertain whether he should break in upon us or no. - He
stopp'd, however, as soon as he came up to us, with a world of
frankness: and having a horn snuff box in his hand, he presented
it open to me. - You shall taste mine - said I, pulling out my box
(which was a small tortoise one) and putting it into his hand. -
'Tis most excellent, said the monk. Then do me the favour, I
replied, to accept of the box and all, and when you take a pinch
out of it, sometimes recollect it was the peace offering of a man
who once used you unkindly, but not from his heart.
The poor monk blush'd as red as scarlet. Mon Dieu! said he,
pressing his hands together - you never used me unkindly. - I should
think, said the lady, he is not likely. I blush'd in my turn; but
from what movements, I leave to the few who feel, to analyze. -
Excuse me, Madame, replied I, - I treated him most unkindly; and
from no provocations. - 'Tis impossible, said the lady. - My God!
cried the monk, with a warmth of asseveration which seem'd not to
belong to him - the fault was in me, and in the indiscretion of my
zeal. - The lady opposed it, and I joined with her in maintaining it
was impossible, that a spirit so regulated as his, could give
offence to any.
I knew not that contention could be rendered so sweet and
pleasurable a thing to the nerves as I then felt it. - We remained
silent, without any sensation of that foolish pain which takes
place, when, in such a circle, you look for ten minutes in one
another's faces without saying a word. Whilst this lasted, the
monk rubbed his horn box upon the sleeve of his tunic; and as soon
as it had acquired a little air of brightness by the friction - he
made me a low bow, and said, 'twas too late to say whether it was
the weakness or goodness of our tempers which had involved us in
this contest - but be it as it would, - he begg'd we might exchange
boxes. - In saying this, he presented his to me with one hand, as he
took mine from me in the other, and having kissed it, - with a
stream of good nature in his eyes, he put it into his bosom, - and
took his leave.
I guard this box, as I would the instrumental parts of my religion,
to help my mind on to something better: in truth, I seldom go
abroad without it; and oft and many a time have I called up by it
the courteous spirit of its owner to regulate my own, in the
justlings of the world: they had found full employment for his, as
I learnt from his story, till about the forty-fifth year of his
age, when upon some military services ill requited, and meeting at
the same time with a disappointment in the tenderest of passions,
he abandoned the sword and the sex together, and took sanctuary not
so much in his convent as in himself.
I feel a damp upon my spirits, as I am going to add, that in my
last return through Calais, upon enquiring after Father Lorenzo, I
heard he had been dead near three months, and was buried, not in
his convent, but, according to his desire, in a little cemetery
belonging to it, about two leagues off: I had a strong desire to
see where they had laid him, - when, upon pulling out his little
horn box, as I sat by his grave, and plucking up a nettle or two at
the head of it, which had no business to grow there, they all
struck together so forcibly upon my affections, that I burst into a
flood of tears: - but I am as weak as a woman; and I beg the world
not to smile, but to pity me.
THE REMISE DOOR. CALAIS.
I had never quitted the lady's hand all this time, and had held it
so long, that it would have been indecent to have let it go,
without first pressing it to my lips:
Enter page number
PreviousNext
Page 6 of 41
Words from 5063 to 6079
of 40886
