He says of himself, on
returning to London, "The subject of it almost wholly engrossed my
thoughts. I became at times very seriously affected while on the road.
I stopped my horse occasionally, dismounted, and walked."
"I frequently tried to persuade myself that the contents of my essay
could not be true; but the more I reflected on the authorities on
which they were founded, the more I gave them credit. Coming in sight
of Wade's Mill, in Hertfordshire, I sat down disconsolate on the turf
by the roadside, and held my horse. Here a thought came into my mind,
that if the contents of the essay were true, it was time that somebody
should see these calamities to an end."
These reflections, as it appears, were put off for a while, but
returned again.
This young and noble heart was of a kind that could not comfort itself
so easily for a brother's sorrow as many do.
He says of himself, "In the course of the autumn of the same year, I
walked frequently into the woods, that I might think of the subject in
solitude, and find relief to my mind there; but there the question
still recurred, 'Are these things true?' Still, the answer followed as
instantaneously, 'They are;' still the result accompanied it - surely
some person should interfere.
