"Against These Sentiments, On The Other Hand, I Had To Urge That I Had
Been Designed For The Church; That
I had already advanced as far as
deacon's orders in it; that my prospects there on account of my
connections
Were then brilliant; that, by appearing to desert my
profession, my family would be dissatisfied, if not unhappy. These
thoughts pressed upon me, and rendered the conflict difficult.
"But the sacrifice of my prospects staggered me, I own, the most. When
the other objections which I have related occurred to me, my
enthusiasm instantly, like a flash of lightning, consumed them; but
this stuck to me, and troubled me. I had ambition. I had a thirst
after worldly interest and honors, and I could not extinguish it at
once. I was more than two hours in solitude under this painful
conflict. At length I yielded, not because I saw any reasonable
prospect of success in my new undertaking, - for all cool-headed and
cool-hearted men would have pronounced against it, - but in obedience,
I believe, to a higher Power. And I can say, that both on the moment
of this resolution and for some time afterwards, I had more sublime
and happy feelings than at any former period of my life."
In order to show how this enterprise was looked upon and talked of
very commonly by the majority of men in those times, we will extract
the following passage from Boswell's Life of Johnson, in which Bozzy
thus enters his solemn protest:
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