A Lady Of My Acquaintance (To Give You An Idea Of The Arts Of These Holy
Hypocrites) Sent For A Priest To Confess And To Receive Absolution, Not
From Any Faith In The Efficacy Of The Business, But Merely From A Desire Of
Conforming To The Ceremonies Of The National Worship.
The priest arrived,
but began by apologizing to her that he was sorry he could not administer
to her
The sacrament of absolution; she, surprized, asked the reason; he
answered that it was because her uncle had purchased Church lands, which
she inherited, and that unless she could resolve to restore them to the
church, he could not think of giving her absolution. The lady was at a loss
whether to be indignant at his impudence or to laugh outright at his folly.
She however assumed a becoming gravity and sang-froid, and told him that
he was very much mistaken if he thought he had got hold of a simpleton or a
bigot in her; that she had sent for him merely with the idea of conforming
to the national worship, and not with the most remote persuasion of the
necessity or efficacy of his or any other priest's absolution; she added:
"Your conduct has opened my eyes as to the views of all your cloth; I see
you are incurable. I shall never send for any of you again; and be assured
this anecdote shall not be forgotten. You may retire." The priest, abashed
and mortified in finding himself mistaken in his supposed prey, stammered
an excuse and retired.
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